Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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