is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
