did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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