We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
