you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
