operation have a gay friend backfired
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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