but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
