living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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