Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
