I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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