She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
