Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Randomize
