dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
