ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
