Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
