Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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