You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
