I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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