We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
