so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
