that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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