Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
