At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
