Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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