im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Drake has all the answers
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
