if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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