Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
