lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
