if only i could text you this smell
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
