Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
