South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Come on in and take your pants off
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