just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
two words: eviction party
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Randomize
