You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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