he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
