even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
