Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
