Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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