I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
BRING THE BAGELS
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
