i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
