My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
