idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
