OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
