Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I deserve this hangover.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
