pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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