so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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