Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
