I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
