We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
