i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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