so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
