doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
