He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
