Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
